Sex in 2024 - a review and setting your sexual goals!

So it's nearly 2024 and I thought maybe it's as good a day as any to have a wee review of where your relationship with sex is like right now. And where you want it to be in 2024.

Let's have a think.

When we talk about sex I want you to know I am referring to all kinds of (consensual of course) sexual contact and behaviour. This might be masturbating (sex on your own), it might be with a partner or multiple partners. It might involve touch or it might be more focused on visual stimulation (watching things that are sexually arousing or appealing), on listening to audio erotica or similar or perhaps reading.

Firstly let's think about your sexual knowledge - how confident are you that you understand how your mind and body (and if relevant your partners bodies) work when it comes to sex? If you feel there might be gaps it might be time to do some reading or research online or perhaps access some coaching or therapy.

Many people have experienced sexual trauma / negative sexual experiences which can block all aspects of sex. If this is you, I will be blogging more on this topic over the coming months and recommending self help resources. You are welcome to contact me via email if you would like signposting to relevant resources.

Then let's think about what you enjoy sexually (and what you don't enjoy). Do you know what you like / don't like? If not, can you find the safe space to start to reflect on this and explore.

Do you know how to get what you want and need sexually? Do you have a safe environment? Do you know how to communicate your wants and needs? Do you have appropriate relationships with people that you want to have sex with and who want to have sex with you? if not, how might you start to get these things in place?

How does your body respond when it comes to sex? Are you able to get aroused and stay aroused? Can you orgasm? If not, there might be many reasons for this (both physical and psychological). Visiting your GP is probably your first port of call but again accessing self help materials or therapy is a great plan.

How satisfied have you been with your sex life recently? Why?

What are the things that make you more inclined to want to have sex?

What are the things that push you away from wanting or having sex?

What time of day do you prefer to have sex?

How do you like to be touched? Where do you like to be touched? (explore this on your own if you are unsure)

What would you like more of in 2024? What would you like less of? How might you achieve that?

I am offering one of sessions (60 minutes for £100) for 10 people In January 2024 to explore how to achieve your sexual goals - email me to book in rubypsychologicalservices@gmail.com