Why work with me?

Finding the right Clinical Psychologist (or therapist) is crucial as you might be sharing parts of yourself that you might have hidden for a long time. As a Clinical Psychologist, I am educated to Doctoral Level and have over 20 years experience of working with people with issues relating to trauma, shame, sex and addictions. 

 

If you are looking to work with someone who will make you feel safe and nurtured but also ask you the difficult questions needed to help you find answers then I may well be the Clinical Psychologist for you. Everything I do in my work is about balance. The balance between holding your hand and comforting you and giving you the nudge to be brave as I believe you can face the difficult conversations needed to help you to reach your goals, whatever they may be. 

Broadly speaking, my approach to therapy follows the work of Judith Herman who proposed a beautiful 3 stage model for trauma work which fits perfectly with my style and suits pretty much everyone I work with. So we follow this path together while recognising that some people spend more time in one stage than others. I offer the flexibility to do this work at your pace and if we need to we can move between stages as necessary,  

1. Safety - ensuring we have a safe, containing therapuetic relationship where you feel heard and understood and you are confident that you won't be judged. This part of the process is about honest communication and pacing our work to suit you. For some people, this stage also focuses on learning new skills to manage distress and trauma symptoms. For many people I work with, a key part of this stage is instilling the belief that safety is in fact possible. Safety is important in trauma work. Safety is also key in work focuses on sexual issues. For both areas, feeling safe enough to be honest and to know you won't be judged is paramount. 

2. Remembrance & Mourning - this part is about acknowledging and understanding the difficult things that have happened in your life and validating emotions. This might be stuff from childhood or might be more recent pain. It might be both. In this part we focus on processing the things that have hurt you and we focus on reducing shame and self criticism. I help you grieve for things that have been lost and express anger and sadness and any other emotion that is relevant to you. We may use EMDR therapy in this part, or imagery exercises and letter writing. Again, everyone I work with spends some time in this stage.

3. Reconnection - This stage is about reconnecting with yourself. Reconnecting with your emotions. Reconnecting with your body. With pleasure. With relationships. With your community. With hope. Getting back to being a whole person even if you can't remember what that is like. I believe in you. In fact, holding hope and belief for people even when it feels like everyone else has turned their back is often one of the things people like best about working with me. 

 

If you decide to allow me to be your guide on this journey then have no doubt that we will both work hard to get you to the place that is right for you emotionally and sexually. I am fortunate enough to be trained and experienced in using a number of amazing therapy approaches that fit so well with the work that I do and the clients that I work with. DBT for safety and stabilisation, EMDR for processing tricky memories and busting negative core beliefs, Schema Therapy for helping heal your child parts and to understand the parts of you that cope in ways that helped you survive but now cause you issues and Compassion Focused Therapy to help reduce shame and self criticism and grow self love and compassion. 

I am sex positive and kink aware.

Email me - rubypsychologicalservices@gmail.com

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